Leah Choi

yesterday lauren and i talked about how i reblog her all the time, here is an example of me reblogging her that i am doing right now, it is about someday when she will have babies and trick them in a good way

teamlauren:

i think when i have children, or more realistically, a child, i am going to see how long i can raise them without them knowing the following things exist:

jesus [and all things affiliated: christians, christmas, republicans], and meat.

i’d like them to scoff at other families’ sit down dinners, ‘wait a minute, you’re eating something that like…has fur and babies and eyeballs? SICK.’ i want them to think people who eat meat are barbarians, and i want to teach them to ‘just say no’ when little billy’s mother offers them chicken fingers or something. also, when billy and his family [joan, richard, and sarah, let’s say] sit down to dinner and like…pray, i want my little jewish vegan children to laugh a little bit and have to be kicked under the table by billy because they have never seen anyone thank god or jesus or anyone besides the person who MADE the meal. they will think this is hysterical and have [easily] as realistic a view on the absence of god as his mommy and daddy do. it will be a heaping helping of delicious victory for liberals everywhere.

tumblr like tries to ‘make you feel bad’ by the tumblarity points when you haven’t written anything and then you log in and it’s like ‘tumblarity:3’ or something and then you’re like oh i’ve been sucking at tumblr when really who freaking cares but i DO care is the point but i know i wouldn’t care if i were not being ‘assessed’ this is one of the principles of motivation, this is one of the bad ones, it makes people who suck a lot a little less sucky and the people who are pretty good very good usually, and the people who are more individual about their personalities basically suffer for it, unless it’s something that doesn’t get near their self-esteem; basically i am calling myself either ‘sucking’ or ‘good’, in this case ‘sucking’ but in other things ‘good’

raptoravatar:

Cool adults are breeding.

teamlauren:

the internet scares me because it enables us to do something that makes us very stupid. you now that friend that maybe does too many drugs but he tells you it’s cool? ‘i still have a job and everything.’ that friend, despite his hefty paycheck, is an asshole. he tells you it is ok to be tweaked out at 2pm and it’s ok to fuck bareback in a fitting room at american apparel.

the internet is your tweaked friend. that friend who’s all, ‘here’s a point and shoot. take this to a house party, take some photos of yer drunk frndz, and post them on the internetz for people to be ambarrassed by.’

we are so busy capturing these moments with our shitty cameras [and phones, fuckoff] that we aren’t even enjoying what is happening. i hate when i take a photo at a party and someone tells me i’d ‘better post that on facebook in the morning.’ yeah, i’d like to get right on that.

furthermore, the internet enables us to be stupid. it allows us to reblog dumb shit, pass along information about ourselves via surveys, and post links to websites our friends don’t want to look at. we post articles nobody wants to read and youtube videos nobody wants to watch. it is getting out of hand.

i want there to be a prescreening for people to buy cameras and to get blogs/facebooks. i think someone should be in charge of this. i think if people do not prove themselves worthy, their internet should be revoked until they learn that the internet is not a toy.

I lost my phone

and my mom is like a puke factory or machine

and i hate illness and i have been tending to her and having a lot of mental attacks and hypochondriatic attacks and things because she’s freaking puking all the freaking time and she has like four infections

but when i am sick i hate it when no one tends to me i require constant and undivided attention otherwise i feel really really sad or hopeless

and here’s the thing of it!:

it turns out that tending to people also makes me feel sad and hopeless

why, ftlog

i would be so much smarter if i could just sense “when i am having a bad idea”

Also, tumblarity contributes to internet clutter.  People see like oh my tumblarity is down  today, if i blog it will probably go back up to what it was yesterday and then i will feel like i am not failing at something, and then they post things that they probably would not have bothered with otherwise, which means usually shit.  yes i am talking about myself, shut the heck up.

why isn’t it possible to sleep and watch tv at the same time

this pisses me off

the concept of time is stupid where if you want to meet up with a person you have to arrange a time to do it

It’s dumb that there’s no “comment” feature on tumblr, i know there is a way, can somebody tell me how? I notice when I type a question mark that suddenly I have the option to “let people answer this”. But there’s some code or something, right? Part of this would be a comment for Lauren.

I am 3.5 months along in a six-month project. Until October 15, I am listening exclusively to classical music, eliminating rock, pop, country, R+B, hip-hop, blues, whatever. I am doing this to see what I find out from doing this. So far I have found out:

• A lot of classical musicians play in a super lame way and they make classical music suck a lot of the time. But classical music can “rock as hard” as rock music when you get into it/get used to it and you’re listening to something good.
• Also, classical music is not “harder” than rock music to play, and the classical industry is douche bags for ‘feigning rocket science’. I always thought rock was easier; I play both styles. But I was just a classical-scam victim:

The classical music industry makes a lot of its money in education: sheet music companies, private conservatories, private lessons, student-level instruments, etc. The scam began with the industrial revolution in Europe.

The growing middle class meant a new economy for music. Besides larger concert halls and higher ticket sales, tons of people started learning music where before not a lot had. Some people got really good… begin “the rise of the virtuoso”. (Think: Paganini) People were like, “damn, I’m so much less awesome than people like Paganini, I gotta get that good,” and the greedy violin teachers and whatever were like “sure you can try, I’ll help you out, for $150 a week for an hour’s lesson.” Jerks. That was the beginning.

Now classical musicians are taught that you have to painstakingly practice really slow scales and stuff for six hours a day and take lessons once a week from ages 4-30 and adopt this lifestyle where you “suffer for your art” to achieve competency/fluency as a classical performer.

Analogy between lessons sold and lessons needed: A person has dog hair on their carpet and they go to an appliance store (this person knows nothing about appliances) and the salesman sells them a $4000 air purification system instead of a $200 vacuum cleaner.

Relationship between difficulty of rock music to difficulty of classical music: carpet sweeper to vacuum cleaner. there are a couple more hoses and buttons and idk it’s a little more cumbersome and more of an “event” to get into a vacuum session than just a quick carpet sweep. But if you can do one, you can do the other.

• NPR mostly sucks (this is for Lauren): I hated NPR so much before this project, but now it’s my only option if the song on the classical station is sucking. I have listened to so much NPR now. NPR has nerdy voices that get on my nerves and the people on there make all these try-hard jokes that ‘utilize their knowledge base’. It does not make them seem smart; they are chodes. Sometimes a funny joke will come out of nowhere and it startles me and I laugh out loud in my car, idk. WBBM is more tolerable, and the people actually do sound kind of cool to me. I have to listen really closely to hear the traffic report.

• I used to hate the harp, harpsichord, clarinet, saxophone, and flute. Now I think I like all of them.

My friend Lauren wrote this thing about her sleeping and her brain and I like it.  I don’t have insomnia but I think about it sometimes.  Here i reblog her post, followed by my own reflections on insomnia and insomniacs.

teamlauren:

i write a lot about sleep. i think this might be due to the fact that most nights, i can’t sleep. i don’t know why this is. something about living in a city i don’t understand with only a handful of people i know compounded by the fact that i don’t like my new haircut and those photos sitting on my computer are begging for a person who isn’t colorblind to edit them.
i make mental lists in my head. i keep my appointments up there, too. i only have probably a 1% margin of error. maybe upwards of 3%. no more than 5.i think if i always do this- if i never give in to the adult habit of having a little book i keep in my purse to jot down my weekly activities- i will never get alzheimer’s. something i read about nuns reading a lot brought me to this conclusion, though the lines are pretty blurry now…anyway, i’d have to get a purse before i got that book, and the future for both of those items looks bleak from where i’m standing. also, i don’t own a bible, and i think that was part of the equation. it would make sense. they’re nuns, you know?

My reflections on insomnia:

I think insomnia seems kind of ‘cool’.  I know I’m not ‘right’ about that or something but it just feels like ‘oh that’s cool people like stay up late and idk read books or write stories or something and feel creative and sleepy and they get accustomed to not sleeping but never ultimately ‘fall ill’ or ‘die of exhaustion’ so they’re like ‘tough’ for not sleeping and i’m like, i wanna be tough like that, but i’m a super weenie who has to Sleep (8 hours, at least, mostly) or Else.’  In 2004 I tried to be cooler by sleeping less.  I was ‘testing the waters’ to see if I might like to be president (US) someday so I started sleeping 6 hours or so instead of 7.75-8.5.  I got mono+strep+bronchitis and ‘failed at life’ for like 2 weeks out of acute illness and got basically super ugly because mono makes you look like a pale, skinny freak.  Ugliness lasted quite a while I think.

Conclusion and Summary:  I feel sympathy for insomniacs but admire their strong physical constitutions.  Admiration does not diminish my sympathy for the insomniac plight; I know it actually sucks to not be able to sleep.